Eight years ago … I confessed my sin and shame … broken-hearted and in despair I went home. My mother and father – along with my brothers – received me … unashamed of me.
My first Sunday home I went to church - to the people … who loved me, as I grew from an infant to a teenager … who taught me, as I sat in Bible classes learned about Noah, Moses, and the missionary journeys of Paul … who rejoiced with me, as I was raised to a new life … who sang with me, as I lead my first song … who listened to me, as I preached my first sermon … and who supported me, as I began a school of preaching and even taught in that school.
When I met with the “home” elders, they were accepting, forgiving, and encouraging. They welcomed me home. The love and fellowship of those men and women – and many others in the “family” gave me a relatively safe place to rest and to heal.
But things changed. I am not sure that I know all that happened … but things changed. I was no longer made to feel “welcome” at home. Even my family sensed that they were considered “unworthy”.
Please understand that I am not blaming anyone – no one but me – for any of the awkwardness or tension. But it was a source of heartache for me that I had become a shame to the people who had once taken such pride in my ministry. It was also a source of concern that Christian people, especially those who knew me and mine, could appear so unaccepting – unforgiving – unloving.
There is no need for me (or them) to ”fuss, cuss, or discuss” what changed or why. It is, however, worth considering the letter that I received last week. Please read it … and rejoice with me. Please read it … and thank God with me for these good men and their willingness to reaffirm their love to this prodigal. Please read it … and pray that God will multiply that spirit among elders and churches across our brotherhood.
Letter from the Sudan Church of Christ to me:
Brother:
Luke 15: Thinking of the lost son coming home. It was the responsibility of the wayward son to ask for forgiveness, and it was the father’s responsibility to forgive.
Rex, you have openly confessed your sin and it is our responsibilty to forgive. When you were here in the early part of the summer we surmised that you thought that we had not followed through with our part to forgive. We were not aware of what was said and how you were told about your relationship with Sudan at an earlier date.
We, as elders, are in agreement that we want to make things right before any further damage is done. We welcome you and your family to worship with us. You have never been ashamed of Sudan and hope you never will be. By the evidence of your present service to the Lord you haven’t given up on Him, and we want you to know we have not given up on you.
May you graciously accept our gratitude for what you stand for and accept our appologies for hurting you.
(Signed by all of the elders.)
Thanks for sharing that….I do pray that spirit will grow among all of God’s children.
Thank you, Donna. Several of us here are praying with you … especially me. Rex
By: Donna on September 22, 2008
at 12:55 pm
I am so thankful for that letter and what it means to your heart. May God bless them for their willingness to make things right. I hope that their leadership and example will inspire others to reach out and become friends to sinners! Hooray!
Thank you, Sarah. One of the reasons I posted their letter is in hopes that their “example will inspire others”. How our churches would be blessed if we could just welcome home the sinners, who happen to be still sitting in the pew – feeling invisible and disposable. Rex
By: Sarah on September 22, 2008
at 1:04 pm
The verse is the truth, “Walk in the light as He is in the light, and we have fellowship with HIM.” Rex, you life is evident that you have been walking in the light and you do have fellowship with the Lord. I am excited to see a group of godly men accepting their mistakes and making things right. The power of the story of the prodigal son is continuing to convict Christians in this century we live in. God still must be wanting more souls to be saved…
Thank you, Benji … for the kind and encouraging words, but also for the thought that my story – your story are like the story of the lost son – and (like you said) it still has the power to convict us all to be more like our Father. Rex
By: benji on September 22, 2008
at 4:43 pm
Rex,
Thank you so much for sharing Jesus with me (all over again) Saturday night… It was such a true blessing to see, hear and be with you again. Your life touched my spirit (again) and I was reminded how God worked through your life to touch my broken, sinful heart. It was good to be among family… I look forward to being with you again soon. Thank you for taking me to the heart of my First Love, Jesus. Thank you for being tender and honest. Thank you for showing me that God desire to use my measly little biskets and fish… Thank you for touching my heart. I love you brother — God bless
Thank you, Patrick … for such comforting words. May God bless you and yours. Please pray for me. Rex
By: Patrick on September 22, 2008
at 6:06 pm
There is so much power in an apology. The letter you recieved carried it’s weight in gold.
I know this letter lifted a weight off your shoulders and brought relief to your heart.
It still saddens me to know of the hurt you have experienced in the past, and sometimes continue to feel, some 8 years later.
I know of the burden of shame that you carry with you even today, and I wish it were just so simple as to “shake it off and get over it”, but it just does not work that way.
I do continue to pray for you and hope that one day, you will be totally relieved of that shame.
And I will pray that the spirit of the Sudan elders and congregation will spread to others, and all of God’s children will be recieved with open arms and love when we are on our knees and in need of forgiveness, just as the father received his prodical son.
God bless you Rex, as you bless so many with your teachings and love for our Father.
Thank you, Celia. You have been a source of comfort and help since that letter you wrote to me some 8 years ago. I will not forget your kindness … and I will pray that God raise up a multitude of folks just like you … to help other prodigals receive their welcome home – like what you did for me. Rex
By: Celia on September 22, 2008
at 9:26 pm
I do rejoice with you and pray that this letter and the entire church family from which it came will be a continual source of great comfort to you and yours.
What a gift…to receive your brothers back again!
Whatever else is true…may it always be true that friends in the Lord love at all times.
My soul was lifted high by reading your post, Rex. I am glad to see Jesus win another one.
You are such a friend … and always have been. I love you. R
By: Doug the old on September 22, 2008
at 11:31 pm
It is a time of rejoicing. Thank God for godly elders who forgive and don’t want to play the role of the “older brother.”
Thank you, Trey. What amazing things would happen in our churches if we had more “father” elders than “older brother” elders. Please pray for me. Rex
By: Trey on September 23, 2008
at 2:13 pm
PS – my son texted me from Hart this past Saturday and said, “Dad, just heard the most awesome speaker, Rex Boyles.”
I texted him back and said, “Yea, Rex has always been a fantastic speaker and one of my heroes in life.”
His reply, “I can see why!”
Keep up the good work.
Thank you (again), Trey. I wish that I had met your son that night. I appreciate his kind words, too. Rex
By: Trey on September 23, 2008
at 2:17 pm
I am so glad that they sent that letter … I believe that makes a huge statement. They wanted to make sure that you knew … and since it’s in writing … you do not ever have to forget.
I’ve learned the value of having a place to come home to … to a heart that is so broken and torn (no matter how it got that way), having a place to rest is priceless. I’m convinced that is what WE are supposed to be providing for each other, and am so grateful that you took your experience and made it your ambition to make sure no one else ever had to be without a resting place.
Weekly you get to see the blessing that comes to a person when they get to lay their burden down at Jesus’ feet … and walk away … rejoicing.
Thank you for never giving up on Jesus and His church … and teaching me to never give up either.
Thank you, Snack. You are right … that is something that I never did. I never gave up on Jesus or His church. I gave up on me. I gave up on leaders that acted more like the “older brother” than the father … but I never gave up on Jesus or anyone else who understands that is “enough to be like Jesus”. Rex
By: cemotosnack on September 23, 2008
at 2:36 pm
Having the opportunity to confess sin and ask for forgiveness is so important…but so is receiving that forgiveness. When we are unsure about that, our hearts simply cannot rest. Whether it is an obvious disagreement or something much more subtle…we are left with a wound. We try to forget about it and go on as if we are not wounded, but the scar will ache sometimes to remind us.
It is truly a blessing then, when someone takes the opportunity to make sure there are no misunderstandings about the forgiveness issue. It gives rest and healing. It is what Jesus would want, isn’t it? I thank God for the hearts that extended forgiveness to you. I pray that others will pay attention and do likewise for every prodigal that comes home.
Experiencing that welcome home….celebrating it with others that come home….has been an amazing thing. I have seen and experienced the good things that can happen when a broken and bruised heart is given the chance to rest and heal.
Thank you Rex for not giving up on God and thank you for helping me find a place to heal so I won’t ever give up on Him again. I pray that our place will always be a place where prodigals can come home to find rest and healing and a celebration!!
Thank you, Sherry. More than I want to admit (more than any of us may want to admit) there is a significant coorelation between a prodigal’s ability to accept the forgiveness and comfort of the Lord and the forgiveness and comfort offered to him/her by their “home church”. If I cannot see it in those people that represent the Lord to me – then it is more difficult to believe that His mercy and love are for real. Thank you for making such love and grace “real” to me – and many others. Rex
By: sherryfisher on September 23, 2008
at 9:21 pm
Rex, thanks so much for sharing this today.
Very encouraging!
It really makes me happy for the church in Sudan to see they are shepherded by good men.
And doubly happy for you. It’s always been obvious… the love you have for your family and for your “people”.
Thank you, Tim. They are good men … and obviously they are men, who are open to learning and growing. I have been so proud that they have been in fellowship with you and your work … now may they continue to share in your work to magnify Jesus. Rex
By: Tim on September 24, 2008
at 4:42 pm
Thanks as always for your ministry and God bless you!
You are always kind and gracious, David. Please pray for me. Rex
By: David Kirk on September 25, 2008
at 2:36 pm
This makes my heart sing for you. I’m so glad you received this letter and I know it means the world to you. God bless the leaders of that church for they have done what the Lord already has done…welcomed you home!
Thank you, EG. You have it right … a church that claims to be a church “of” Christ … should be a church “like” Christ. So … when are you coming to visit? Rex
By: Email Girl on September 27, 2008
at 9:12 am
So many times it is easy to not forgive someone whos sins are different than our own.
Sometimes it is easy to confuse hating the sin not the sinner.
We humans get things so messed up sometimes. Your coming forward with your sin is an opportunity to sharpen our swords against Satan, by forgiving…even if we don’t understand…
Thank God Rex, that you showed God’s glory by living as the forgiven child of God you are… instead of in the shadow of shame…right where Satan could use you the most for his will.
You are a good man, and well thought of here! You do so much for anyone and I am so glad that others can come to see that and will take the stand to sharpen thier sword…in God’s favor!
You are a good one Rex!
Linly
Thank you, Linly. You (and Alan) have really helped me to live “as forgiven” (at least try to) by accepting me … encouraging me … and especially by allowing me to share in your lives. The way you have entrusted me with your heart’s concerns and your soul’s hunger and thirst for righteousness has blessed me with opportunity to serve and a sense of purpose. I thank you for that … and thank God for you. Rex
By: Linly Crawford on October 6, 2008
at 12:18 pm
Dear Rex,
It’s great to see the Church elders come together in unison and extend to you the forgiveness that Christ extends every sinner. It takes humility and understanding to set aside judgment and criticism. I’ve learned that hardships are learning and growth opportunities whether we like them or not.
I’ve learned that the Lord is in control in ways that we can’t imagine. I believe He is in control even through our weaknesses and failures. He can even take a disaster mold and shape it to use for His glory. Heck, look what He did with a Christian murdering fanatic like Paul. So no matter what we do, no matter what our failures are as long as we stay faithful to the Lord, He will continue to use us for His glory and purpose.
When I went through AIM, I was called to your office for some minor insurrection. I think Chadd busted me without a tie or something. I can’t remember. After nearly 20 years my memory is a little fuzzy. But, I do remember this. I walked into your office and took a seat in front of your desk. You asked me a couple of questions as to why I did what I did.
You sat there leaning back in your chair in a relaxed fashion. Then while I was talking, with a deadpan expression, you put a pen in your ear and then kept listening. I knew what you were doing. You were making me feel at ease. You told me to behave myself and said something like, “I’m sure I won’t be seeing you here again right?” all the while with the pen still sticking out of your ear. I really appreciated that. You had to do what you had to do but all the while assuring me that I wasn’t a bad person.
Rex, hopefully with no pen in ear required, I want to remind you that God is still using you because of your faithfulness in Him. Thanks for staying the course and not giving up. You are an inspiration through your adversity. I pray for blessings on you and your ministry.
Robert
Robert, thank you for your comment. I remember you … your time in AIM with fondness. I do not remember the “pen in the ear” moment, but if I ever did anything that was of help to you … in anyway at anytime … I give God the credit and long for another chance to be of some benefit to you. Continue to pray for me, please. God bless you and yours. Rex
By: Robert on November 2, 2008
at 9:04 pm