When the prodigal came home … there was a hug, a kiss, a pair of sandals, a robe, a ring, a fatted calf, and a celebration waiting on him. I am sure that his welcome home included a hot bath and a haircut. By the time of the “Welcome Home Son” party began, his makeover was complete … no more stench or stain from the pig pen, only the haunting memories in the runaway’s heart.
However, sometimes when the prodigal comes home, a hot bath and a haircut will not remove the stains or consequences of those wasteful years. Sometimes … there are legal consequences that remain on account even when the sin consequences are blotted out.
How do you “deal” with that brother?
Well, first … you treat him how the Father would. Welcome him home! Celebrate that the one that was lost has been found … the one that was dead is now alive. We want this brother to KNOW that we agree with God … and that we are going to “forgive” him … “comfort” him … and “reaffirm” our love him, so that he will not be overcome by “overmuch sorrow”.
Then, of course, we want to “Barnabas” him. Barnabas means “son of encouragment”, and that is exactly what Barnabas did for Saul … as he helped him find his place in this new fellowship. Consider (Acts 9:26-31, NIV): “When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles.” In being Saul’s advocate Barnabas helped the disciples to begin to trust this new brother, reassuring them that he (Barnabas) believed that Saul really was a disciple … and he helped Saul by standing with him, reassuring him that he (Barnabas) believed it and that he would help Saul convince the rest of the disciples.
Such an encourager – advocate – friend is needed by any brother or sister, who is coming home – but especially by those who have some residual consequences. Jesus accepts that role (1John2:1-2) … and would be pleased if we would see fit to do the same.
Now … such a role is not without risks, because the disciples still might not trust … and the prodigal might falter and fail again. Therefore, the “Barnabas brother” must be one who is strong in the Lord (for the Lord) … for it is the strong that “bear with the failings of the weak“. And though it is a difficult task and even a treacherous place – “caught in the middle” – it is needed by more people than we want to acknowledge. They wait outside the fellowship – outside the celebration – waiting for someone to “Barnabas” them inside.
p.s. Cline Paden was such a Barnabas to me. For the rest of my life … I will thank God for his strength to face my accusers and his courage to believe in me.
p.p.s. Did you have a Barnabas?
When I first began to admit that things in my life were collapsing I didn’t know where to turn. I was too embarrassed to go to my friends … and had alienated most of them at this point.
Fortunately, I had an aunt that was standing at about the same point I was. Only she was there for the second time. She had traveled this lonely road of addiction before and knew what it took to get on a better path. She walked with me every step of the way.
She allowed me to tell people that I was going with her to these meetings so she wouldn’t have to go alone … I was doing this and that “to help her”. This way I could use her as my reason for being there without having to admit my own problem until I was ready. That’s when I think she Barnabased me.
Without her walking with me … without her daring me … challenging me … encouraging me … I don’t know that I would have gotten sober. If I hadn’t gotten sober then I wouldn’t have started talking to God again. If I hadn’t started talking to God again then I would have ended up right back in that same place where my world was collapsing.
Thanks to my aunt … the cycle was broken. She helped me find the strength … she walked with me when I needed her to … and she stepped back when it was time. She stuck with me as I dealt with the stains of consequence that lingered for a long, long time. She never gave up on me … and for that I’m forever grateful.
By: cemotosnack on September 29, 2008
at 8:15 pm
Dear Friend,
You are my Barnabas…TFS! And I wonder how very many there are who will say the same about you.
Anywhere you have gone, I have found myself welcomed and loved in the Lord. Before I ever met the saints with whom you were laboring, they loved me…thought well of me…accepted me. I have always been amazed by this…and am so very grateful for it as well. Because you loved me, others loved me. Because you believed good things about me, others did the same. Because you expect good things from me, it gets passed on. And because of you, I have met and been blessed by so many people who have a heart for King Jesus. I cannot tell…could never count…all the ways in which my life has been bettered, my soul enriched, my ministry enlarged, my hands strengthened in God and my heart encouraged because you came alongside me in this life and stood with me “from the first day until now.” The corridors of my mind are decorated with so many pictures of so many precious people who stepped up to serve the Lord under your influence. The soundtrack inside my head still plays the loop of the beautiful songs those servants of Christ sang as they traveled down the pathway of service. For me to have had, even a tiny part, in helping them in any way…was because of you. You were willing to hold all your possessions and even your own heart in common with me. I always knew that to be true. For all of this and for so many other reasons, I thank God for you. “…The LORD has blessed me because of you.” (Gen. 30:27b) Know that I know it…and will not forget it as long as my rememberer works.
By: oakesclan on September 30, 2008
at 10:29 am
Rex,
No doubt in my mind…you are my Barnabas. No one, not ever, has had a bigger influence on my life than you…and you’ve done it twice…once wasn’t enough I guess. The first time you taught me to love Jesus, to lean on Him, to rely on His help, to know Him. You encouraged me to step outside of my comfort zone and do things I didn’t dream I could for the sake of the Father. You taught me that loving the lost was the closest I’d ever be to being like Jesus. And when I stumbled and didn’t feel I deserved it you rewarded me for the good I did instead of dwelling on the stumble. Then I closed that chapter of my life and moved on. Little did I know…about 18 years later, having had no contact with you, living in the toughest days of my life, I’d still think of the things you taught me. I didn’t practice them anymore…I didn’t have the strength or the faith or the hope…but I remembered my teacher and the things he laid on my heart before…no one could take that from me. I reached out to you again…my Barnabas…and you’ve been there ever since. The first time you were in my life you showed me how to love the Lord and the sinner…this time you’ve renewed my faith in God, restored my soul, and showed me how to believe in myself. You’ve helped me dump the person inside of me that man created and you showed me again who it is that God made me to be. I now have hope, where before I had none. I have strength, where before I was weak. I have a voice, when before I couldn’t speak. You are responsible for that….you found those things in me and brought them out. I am eternally grateful for you and I thank God daily for bringing you back into my life and for instilling in you a spirit that is more like Jesus than anyone I’ve ever met. When God set my path to cross with yours, He was giving me the greatest earthly gift I will ever receive. Thank you Rex..for being my Barnabas….for not giving up on me…for encouraging me beyond what words can express. Thanks for being my brother, my friend, my teacher, my counsel, my O.L.F.A. with a limp and a cane
) I will count you those things always….
By: Email Girl on October 1, 2008
at 12:13 am
I was far away from anything that was good. My life was miserable and I didn’t think anyone could care about me, especially people who had known me before when I was “good”. I had shut myself away from that as much as I could. And even when I decided to try to come back Home, I didn’t have much success. I did not feel accepted. On the contrary, I felt as though I was being measured against someone’s idea of what I should have been…and I was coming up short. And it’s highly possible (even probable) that judgment was coming from my own heart. But there was no one that made me feel any differently.
Then I saw you, Rex, at Cavazos that night. My heart smiled when you acted happy to see me. My bruises wouldn’t let me believe that you really were happy… because I had shut you out of my life too. But you were nice to me. And you didn’t stop there. A few emails down the road, you invited me to the place that would come to be known as the Boom Boom. You walked with me as I turned to come back Home. You did not let me quit even when I wanted to crawl back under my rock. You listened to me when I cried. You listened to my heart when I couldn’t even speak. You spent countless hours talking sense to me. You loved me and kept on loving me until I finally started believing it. You stood by me when I had to face down the enemy. You helped me find strength in God so I could withstand the storm. And you keep on teaching me how to rebuild my life. You believe in me when I don’t believe in myself. Thank you for being there for me when I was broken. Thank you for being here for me now as I heal. Thank you for all that I know you will do for me until Jesus comes to take us Home. Even though I don’t understand why you choose to be my friend and put up with me, I cherish your friendship. You give me courage to be more than I think I can be…to do more than I think I can do. That is Barnabas. I love you Rex..for real and for true. And I thank God for you every day of my life.
By: sherryfisher on October 1, 2008
at 9:33 pm
Rex,
You are included in the plethora of Barnabus’ that I had. Same one’s I still have……Most of the congregation at the open church. And when I go back and visit…..it’s like I never left…and we pick up where we left off like I was never away. It should be like that shouldn’t it? Thanks will never be enough but turnin’ and doing the same thing for others is what I try to do. Thanks again, Barney…
Thanks, Pirate. I feel the same way about this place … and you. So … when are you coming through for a visit? We’ve got some folks that need some Barnabasing! Rex
By: piratesportsguy on October 1, 2008
at 9:25 pm
I think that before I really had a barnabas…I had a “good samaritan” – a friend who found me when I was beaten up (by my own choices – my own sin) and was laying on the side of the road – not just dying…but WANTING to die…
Heath Grisso came along and loved me, encouraged me, believed in me…(did not agree with what I did)…but remained my friend! It was through his loving care that I was able to heal so that I could get to the point that I could allow a Barnabas to encourage me…
Of course, like so many others…you are my barnabas…you continue to encourage me…to love me…to believe in me…even when you don’t agree with me…or even when you think I have deserted you to come live on some tropical island…
From the day in Brownfield….to Carinos…to day after day for the last lots of years…you have been my best friend…my teacher…and my greatest encourager. A gift I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay – to no avail…therefore, I will have to leave it to the Father to bless you the way that I could only wish I could.
By: Dennis Wilson on October 2, 2008
at 1:44 am
Wonderful thoughts Rex.
God bless you brother for challenging us with this post.
You are welcome, Barnabas.
By: preacherman on October 2, 2008
at 7:01 am
I have been blessed to have many friends who are encouragers to me. The one I can recall the easiest is my friend, Elaine. She has the most amazing servant’s heart. When we first met, it was more of a business arrangement. I tutored her son in reading. I had no idea what kind of friendship I was in for. When my faith was weak, God sent me Elaine. She encouraged me through times of apathy and heartache, and reassured me that God would take care of me and provide for me. I have never met a more prayerful person. She has prayed with me and over me many times. Elaine has not only shown me the meaning of encouragement, but how to love people who are hurting.
God knew I needed Elaine, and I am so thankful he gave me such a beautiful friend!
Thank you, Sarah. I know Elaine just enough to know that she would say the same for you. Me too. Rex
By: Sarah on October 4, 2008
at 8:41 am
For me it was a family – the Toombs family. When I was insecure, closed off, scared of my own shadow…this family helped me see what God saw in me. They each brought out in me the things God had planted inside me that I had been hiding. I will never forget Jerry pushing back the long hair that I always let fall in my eyes and tucking it behind my ear, telling me to let the world see “beautiful me”. Veta was a mom to me, counselling me, hugging and loving me…taking me where I needed to go. Marq was “Always a Friend” -still is, challenging me, reminding me that talk is cheap and showing me how to DO the things I dreamt of. Jason (ERBERT!) and Angie were brother and sister to me and noone ever acted like it was anything but normal when THEY moved me to Lubbock instead of my parents or when THEY took me to AIM graduation. Even my real mom now looks back and thanks God for the way they parented me and Barnabassed me and set me on the road to the life I wanted, but didn’t know how to reach for. How would I have met Wayne…or all of you…how would I have had the courage to be what I have always dreamed of being…a soldier of the Cross, a preacher’s wife…a missionary, without Big’N, Pie and their kids???? Thanks again, LORD!!
Thank you, Tea. Having seen the encouragment you are to others and having experienced your Barnabas gift first-hand … I, too, want to thank God for the Toombs family. How many people all over the world thank God for them – having been either loved by them or loved by someone loved by them? I know that there are a fair share of folks thanking God for you and for those you have Barnabased. Me included. Rex
By: teawithtennyson on October 5, 2008
at 7:01 am
I remember in AIM that Bob was my Barnabas! In a time that I messed up A LOT!!! and few believed in me, he took up for me and was patient and gentle with me. I would also have to say ALL the church out in Hart. They took me in and raised me up and helped me spread the gospel in other places. The best Barnabas on planet earth would HAVE TO BE BARB!!! She has always lifted me up and blessed me and allowed me to be accepted in circles that I couldn’t get within 50 miles of without her!
Man, the reality is there has been so many at so many different times in my life! When I read this though, I want to be Barnabas for someone else. Not for the “glory” of it, but 1st of all b/c that’s what God wants/made me to be. Also b/c I know people NEED those Barnabas type people or they will be over come and left out in the darkness!
Thank you, Shawn. I, too, thank God for every Barnabas you ever had (especially Barb) … for they have kept you going … so that from time to time you can help me keep going. God bless you … your family … and your work. Barnabas on … brother. Rex
By: shawn gary on October 5, 2008
at 10:21 pm
I am sad to say that my Barnabas was not a member of the church. My sin….my shame was not public so I did not need a Barnabas in the way many of you talk about. I did however need a friend….an encourager…someone I could trust. I found all that in my friend..my Barnabas. She allowed me to lean on her and many times held me up when I was to sad to care. She did all of this without complaint…praise…gossip. I am afraid as I was then that I would not have found this kind of a Barnabas in the church.
It has been my experience that many times the one we think of as a Barnabas ends up being a Judas. Often times people pretend to care…be you friend…accept you when all along they only care about knowing what the “prodigal son did while he was in the pig pen”. Many of the Barnabas’s I’ve seen have not been encouragers…they have gossiped…hurt….torn down the one who needs encouragement and acceptance the most. I believe many have left the church because of these BarnabASSES. Imagine what Paul would have endured if Barnabas had treated him the way we often treat each other.
I have seen big local churches want to assign a Barnabas to the prodigal son whose come home. Not to encourage but to spy….hold accountable….”renew”….remind them of their sin. I have not been able to find anywhere in the Bible where this is how Barnabas treated Paul. He encouraged Paul instead of reminding Paul what he had done wrong.
May the Lord help me…help all of us to be Paul’s kind of Barnabas to those that are hurting from their sin or just from life in general. Let us not be the ones who decide who deserves a Barnabas and who doesn’t.
I thank God that he placed people in the church like Cline…Rex….Doug that are encouragers like Barnabas. They like Barnabas have made it possible for many to come home….find love…get rest so that they can “Barnabas” someone else.
Thank you, Mothergoose. I know your “barnabas” … and though she may have not (yet) given her heart to Jesus, she does have the compassion of Jesus, especially toward you. I also know of a sister, who might have been lost to the Lord and His Church, if you had not been a “barnabas” to her. So … add your name to those for whom we should all thank God for placing in the Church … that many can “come home … find love … get rest so that they can ‘Barnabas’ someone else. Rex
By: mothergoose on October 7, 2008
at 11:45 pm
May God send us more encouragers, more Barnabases!
Amen, David. Thank you for being a blog-Barnabas to me. Rex
By: David Kirk on October 11, 2008
at 12:36 am
ditto to so many of the other responses. When I’m asked,”Who has been one of the greatest influences in your life?” I have two responses, “My husband, Bernard Krogsgaard, and my teacher, Rex Boyles.” Thanks for being an influence in my life…one that I continue to pass on to others.
We are back in Mexico after being gone and in Canada for 17 years. We’ve left our twins behind. Kresten is at OC and Ashley is in Paramedic training in Canada. Logan, our surprise child is with us in Playa Azul, Michoacan. My blogsite is mexsonshine.blogspot.com
Fond Memories and Gratefulness.
Alicia Krogsgaard
Thank you, Alicia … so much. You have no idea what a gift from God your comment was … to hear from you … to hear such kind and encouraging words. You were – when I first met you – and still are a vessel God uses to annoint others with His grace. May God bless you and yours. Rex
By: Alicia Chambers Krogsgaard on October 12, 2008
at 10:07 pm