Posted by: Rex Boyles | September 7, 2007

Confession is good for your soul …

I wanted to tell someone … needed to tell someone … of the thoughts – the desires – the temptations – the sins; but I didn’t. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to say it. When I tried – tried to “open up”, my fear and ignorance shut my mouth. I swallowed all of the guilt and fear of my sin; and it damaged my heart and destroyed my life. 

Even now I do not understand why I did not say something. Why did I let things go so far? I know I was ashamed and afraid; but I knew God’s promise: “Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.” Why didn’t I obey that command or trust that promise? (At some point we should discuss a church culture that implies, if not directly teaches, that leaders should never admit to weakness; and if a leader ever commits sin, public sin, he is no longer qualified to be a leader.)

Regardless of why I didn’t admit publicly to my struggle – I didn’t; and my life and my family bear the consequences of my immaturity and foolishness, even to this day.

Consider the men chosen by God: 

A prince, who was invited to stand in the burning presence of God, admitted that he was a failure and too afraid of what others might say or do to become a leader. He could have enraged God, but he admitted his fears anyway.

A king, who was known to have a heart for God, admitted: “I have sinned”. He could have been stoned to death, but he confessed his sin anyway.

A priest, who witnessed the glory of the Lord filling the temple, admitted that he was “unclean” – “ruined” – unworthy to serve in the presence of God. He could have banished from the temple or struck down within the sanctuary, but he confessed his “woe” anyway.

A prophet, who was prepared to be God’s watchman before he was ever born, admitted that he was too young – too simple – to bear that responsibility. He could have excused himself (he tried) from the service, but he confessed his weakness anyway.

A disciple, who was called by Jesus to be one of the twelve, admitted that he was a sinful man and begged Jesus to depart from him. He could have been left with the boat to clean the fish, but he admitted his mistakes anyway.  In spite of their weaknesses – mistakes – sins – God used them to lead His people … to praise His glory … to announce His Messiah … to thunder His judgment … to preach His Word.  

Others might not be so willing to forgive us – even when we confess (or maybe because we confess); but God will not only forgive – He will use our weaknesses to magnify His power … use our sinfulness to declare His righteousness … use our shame to reveal His glory. 

p.s. I thank God for Bob Renne, who was (and is) a friend to this sinner. Bob was one of the first people I confessed my shame to. It wasn’t that unusual, because he has been a confidante and a counselor to me for almost 30 years. Bob knows me … knows my heart, and he never let my sin affect our friendship. Every time we have breakfast together he reminds me that he loves me – not just in what he says but in what he does. Please send Bob an email: bob@lubbockchurch.org to encourage him. If you know – then you have been loved by him, and today would be a good day to thank him for loving you too.

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