Posted by: Rex Boyles | February 27, 2008

“… the shame I carry …”

(The following is an excerpt from an email I received a few days ago. I post it here with permission. What you are about to read is the confession of a sinner, who expects no mercy but needs it … who understands the church’s – and friends’ – condemnation but can’t understand why the Lord does not condemn her. If she was your sister … what would you say?)

   

Dear Rex,

    Guilty.  I am guilty of drinking.  I was found out by my church – my closest friends and condemned.  I do not drink any more.  But the  shame I carry, of being drunk, in front of them and their kids and mine, almost killed me.    I stopped going to church for over a year.  I wanted to disappear and die.  I want  to believe that Jesus does not condemn me.  But, I do not know why he would want me.  I do deserve to be condemned, and I don’t deserve to be wanted by him or my church friends.  I deserve to be shamed and to be an outcast for what I did and what I could have done. I cried my eyes out wishing I could understand that God and His son, do not condemn me.

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